Stress and the Future: Stress Awareness Day

Katie shares her own experience of Stress in support of National Stress Awareness Day!

- Katie

Sometimes it’s easy to feel overcome with fear of what the future might hold. The unknown is scary to everyone, but those of us who deal with Anxiety, OCD and other mental difficulties, are likely to stress even more. Here’s how I deal with the stress of moving forward:

I’m currently in my second year at University which is usually the time in a person’s academic life when people are told to be considering their future, future careers in particular. I’ve been bombarded with emails regarding career fairs, talks, and opportunities and sometimes it can all feel a little bit overwhelming. I’m 19 years old, I don’t know exactly where I will be in the next ten years, and this often causes me a lot of stress.

The unknown is terrifying, isn’t it? But it doesn’t have to be. I deal with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) in my everyday life and this means that I like order, and the future is something I cannot control. There is no set path through life that everyone goes down, life varies so much for each person but this isn’t a bad thing.

It’s okay that we can’t have everything planned out. Life is so much more exciting because it is unpredictable. Will I live in England forever? Or will a future job or relationship mean I move abroad? How many children will I have? What will my home look like? These are all questions I cannot answer. Of course I can have a basic life plan, but no one knows exactly how life will turn out.

When you tell someone you suffer from anxiety, often you hear this response ‘just don’t think about things that worry you’, which is an impossible feat for anyone to achieve. I have my own ways to deal with anxiety and stress; useful tips I want to share with you. Therefore, when the thought of your future gets you down, you can find a way to calm yourselves, relax and know that no one’s future is set. You can turn that anxiety into excitement for what your life might bring.

Firstly, a good night’s sleep is always a good way to combat stress. I use an app called Sleepcycle to track how well I am sleeping. I also use it to notice any patterns in my eating and drinking habits, and other activities which could be impacting my sleep. Food and drink are very important as caffeinated products are going to intensify stress and anxiety. For me the effects of caffeine particularly on my heart rate is what led me to restrict my intake of things like coffee.

Secondly, reading is my safe haven. Whenever life seems to get a bit too much I bury my head in a good book. I am currently reading ‘The Little Book of Hygge’, which is a particularly relaxing book as it’s all about the ways in which Danish people live their lives, as Denmark is known as the happiest country in the world.

Finally, little things like lighting candles, and taking long hot baths, listening to your favourite album whilst taking a long walk on a crisp sunny morning can all help to destress your soul. The app Headspace is a favourite of mine. I listen to a guided meditation each night before sleeping as it allows you to clear your mind of the days worries and helps you get the best night’s sleep you can.

Stress is a part of everyone’s lives but I hope that some of you can use my tips to relax. Remember it’s okay to feel worried sometimes, you just need to be able to let go of that worry at the end of the day. Don’t let it drag you down, trust me I’ve been there, but you can power through. You’re not alone. I hope you all have the most exciting lives you could ever want.

 

Hello, I’m Katie, a history student in her second year at Queen Mary University of London. Going to university while living with diagnoses of GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) can be difficult; I am writing for Student Minds to share my experiences.

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‘I’m so OCD’

People like to use the term 'OCD' as a character trait, but what does it really mean?

- Krishna

As someone who suffers from OCD, I don’t think that the phrase 'I'm so OCD' will ever stop making me feel like I’ve been slapped across the face. It doesn’t even make sense, I mean think about it.

But that phrase, along with so many others, even along with products that showcase OCD as a form of organization, have made my life so much more difficult.

I first understood that I had contamination OCD when I was at university. For a long time before I knew that I had OCD, my behaviours' were just a quirk. I remember being called ‘infection control’ and always being relied on for having hand sanitizer in my bag. With time, what started as a quirk grew into something much more consuming. By the second year of university this simple overuse of soap was an illness that had the ability to trap me in my own home.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is cycle. It starts with an obsession (an intrusive, recurrent thought) which causes anxiety and severe discomfort. This is followed by an action which stops the anxiety. The issue is that the relief is short lived and the cycle starts all over again. For me this would focus on washing and cleanliness. I remember once having three showers straight after each other because of being near ‘contaminated things’ in my own home. It was exhausting.

At my worst it was a struggle to leave my home, I was unable to cook food and use a public bathroom? Forget about it! But there were also other things. Things that were more subtle. I would lie a lot to avoid certain social situations; I used food and alcohol as coping mechanisms (which when you are at university doesn’t always ring alarm bells) and my self esteem was basically non-existent. All of these things were interlinked. It wasn’t that I had OCD and I washed my hands a lot. It was that I had a debilitating illness that affected basically every aspect of my life.

But I think I was lucky. I had heard of OCD at some point in my life, which meant that I started to seek support when I realised that I couldn’t fix what was happening by myself. I also started campaigning and decided to use my experiences to try and raise awareness. I wanted to put the difficulty that I was going through to some good use. If I could help one person to understand what OCD really felt like or give someone the confidence to seek support themselves, then it felt like maybe all the pain was worthwhile. That it had a purpose.

Recovery was a long process. When something is so integrated into your life it takes a lot of work and time to change it. I often say ‘recovery’ because I view mental health on a spectrum. There isn’t ‘well’ and ‘unwell’ in my opinion. My recovery was about understanding and recognizing the harmful thoughts and behaviours’ that I had developed and challenging them. Forcing myself to face them until they no longer caused me pain or anxiety.

Imagine that - think of the one thing that you are the most terrified of in this world, then imagine having to face it every single day for prolonged periods of time until you are no longer scared of it. No it wasn’t easy, but it was perhaps the most beneficial and life-changing thing that I have ever done.

We should all be looking after our own mental health just as we would our physical health, because it isn’t an abnormality to experience a mental health difficulty and recovery isn't about never feeling down or unwell. I have experienced recovery but I still go through periods of difficulty. Times where I can feel the intrusive thoughts creeping back, manifesting themselves in different ways. When I notice that I am going through bottles of soap much quicker and using avoidance techniques again. The difference now is that I can notice it. I can see the signs and I know what I need to do to ensure that it doesn’t get worse.

I will forever feel frustrated when I hear phrases like ‘I’m so OCD’ because it trivialises something that impacted my life in such a consuming, challenging way. It isn’t a joke; it's very real for a lot of people. This OCD Awareness Week I want to continue to share that understanding.

The next time you hear someone joke about OCD, question it, ask them what it means. Then tell them what OCD actually is.

You could be helping someone like me who just needed to know that she had an illness, that it wasn’t her fault and that it could get better. And it did.

Want tips on understanding OCD or want to seek support? Visit OCD Action or Mind.

Hi I’m Krishna, the Design and Office Manager at Student Minds. I setup my first OCD awareness campaign back in 2013 which led me to the Student Minds group at Sheffield Hallam University. I then joined the Student Minds staff team in early 2016. As a graphic designer I am passionate about using design to raise understanding of mental health difficulties, inspire conversations around mental health and help to show people that they are not alone.

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Never Giving Up

Living away from home isn't always easy, especially for those of us who suffer from mental health difficulties. But there are other ways to complete your degree whilst living at home...

- Katie

Hi, I’ll start this off by introducing myself: I’m Katie, a history student at Queen Mary University of London. Oh, and I suffer from GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder). As fate would have it, my mental health started deteriorating just before I started my first year at university (I know. Great planning, brain). Let’s just say first year wasn’t exactly a walk in the park for me, but I got help and I got better at dealing with my difficulties.

Of course, mental health issues don’t just disappear: instead, you learn what makes you feel better and what makes you feel worse. By the end of first year, I had realised that what really made me happy was my family. We have always been an extremely close family. Throughout my first year I was coming home every single weekend. Home is where I felt safe.

When first year was finally over and I spent my long summer at home, I found myself dreading the idea of having to start second year and being away from home again. So many of my friends love being at University, having their independence and being able to go out when they want, to eat what they want, and to do what they want – but that’s not me. I even thought about dropping out, but I love my degree. I didn’t want my mental health to dictate my life for me.

So I decided that, for my second year, I would have the best of both worlds (don’t start singing the Hannah Montana theme tune). I would live at home, and complete my history degree, and begin commuting. I live in Norfolk, and it’s a four hour round-trip to and from university, which is one hell of a commute, but I knew that this was the right decision for me. Of course the thought of all that travelling and having to rely on public transport was scary, but as soon as I made that decision, it was like a huge weight had been lifted.

I’m not going to lie: it is a long journey. But I can read, or listen to music or do coursework whilst I travel, and I know that at the end of each day, I’m going back to my home, to my family (and my adorable puppy), and the commute is a small price to pay for all of this.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that mental health issues suck. No one wants them and they have a tendency to flare up at the worst of times, but we can’t let these issues dictate how we live our lives. University is a big deal and so many people experience it differently. Just because I live at home and don’t go out partying every night doesn’t mean I’m not a ‘proper student’. No matter how bad things get, it will always get better and there will always be a way for everyone to do what they want to do. I wanted to complete my degree but I wanted to live at home, and I got used to the commute. For anyone thinking about commuting: just give it a go. You might just find that it is the solution to your university dilemmas, like it was for me. Good luck to anyone who might be reading this, and however you’re feeling right now – anxious, apprehensive, excited – I hope that you keep fighting and never give up.

Hello, I’m Katie, a history student in her second year at Queen Mary University of London. Going to university while living with diagnoses of GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) can be difficult; I am writing for Student Minds to share my experiences.

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Personal Advice from a Travelling Uni Student with OCD

As a lover of travel and long-term OCD sufferer, Jodie knows how the two can sometimes create an ugly mix making it harder to shhh that OCD bully inside your head. 

- Jodie Randell 

This article aims to assist anyone wishing to travel with OCD, by outlining some personal tips I have learnt. It is important to note that I am not a healthcare professional, and you should always consult a doctor for professional advice. 

Research your destination
I always hear people say it’s exciting to go to a destination blind-eyed but, in reality, that can create more problems than it’s worth. Researching your destination will minimise any unnecessary stresses that might push your OCD into alert mode! Find out simple things like the kind of laws and customs the country your visiting has, so you don’t stumble across any major surprises! Also, research more specific things, for example: if your travel insurance covers mental health; if your medication is legal and available abroad; if you're allowed to take any medication on the plane, and what mental health services are available at your destination. Be sure to check the FCO mental health page for more advice on travelling with a mental health issue.

Be aware of your fears, and rationalise them
Travelling can present OCD nightmares, such as fear of flying, fear of contamination or fear of being away from the ones you love. Ignoring these fears is much easier said than done, but if you try to rationalize the fears OCD creates, they should have far less of an impact on your wellbeing. If you’re scared of flying, look up information on the safety of flying, or take a fear of flying course. If you are unsure about eating abroad, research advice from the NHS on food abroad, or take some easy meals along such as porridge oats, which only requires boiling water, making it an quick and safe meal.

Keep in touch with friends and family
Talking to your loved ones and having a bit of a giggle can distract you and bring you back to reality, positively impacting your day and your OCD! For me, when my OCD gets really bad I know my friends and family can cheer me up by a simple chat on the phone. Also, don’t be afraid to make new friends – you can learn many things from different people, including being introduced to other cultures and ways of thinking.

Plan your first couple of days
I find my OCD is worse when I do not have a set schedule. This is because my mind has time to wander and stress about the smallest things. So, make a set plan for your first couple of days, or even the first week. This eliminates the panic of organising things on the day in an unfamiliar place, making your mind less vulnerable to OCD!

Have down time and save money for rest days
OCD can be an exhausting game! Make sure you treat yourself and be kind to your mind by not overworking it – this will make it stronger to tackle that pesky bully OCD creates! Take a day to read your favourite book, listen to your favourite music, or simply swing on a hammock in the breeze. Set money aside for these rest days; perhaps there is a hot spring or spa around the corner you can immerse yourself in!

OCD can be exhausting and tough, but let's not allow the OCD bully win by stopping us do the things we love!

Going on a year abroad, and not sure what to expect? Visit our Year Abroad resource for lots of information and tips to read before you fly off!

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University Life with OCD

Natasha writes about how she battled through her OCD whilst at University.

                                                                                                                    -Natasha Neary

Being a student is hard enough without having to deal with the added struggles that come with poor mental health – in my case, OCD. Looking back on my experiences, I wish that I’d have done things differently when it came to taking care of myself. However, now things are on track and I thought I’d share my story of living with OCD as an undergraduate student.

From what I remember, I began to develop signs of OCD as soon as I entered my first year of college. I had no idea what OCD was at this stage and so I just trundled along, confused and anxious, somehow able to get through another three years of education.

Things became a lot harder with the prospect of starting university just around the corner. I moved away from home, away from my friends and family, and thanks to my anxiety that tags along with OCD I started to feel lonely, scared and at a total loss. It was at this stage that my symptoms became more apparent and a family friend eventually sat me down and told me that it was possible that I had OCD. After doing some research, things suddenly became clear as I found a reason for my behaviours.

However, I still struggled – a lot – during university. I tried to seek help from my GP, but unfortunately my illness wasn’t taken seriously and I completely shut myself off. I rarely talked about my problems so even my closest friends didn’t know what was going on. I confined my OCD to the tiny little room I had in halls of residence and became fixated with my rituals. Then, slowly but surely, my anxiety grew. My thoughts became scarier, and my mind continued to believe that if I kept doing the rituals (which also got worse) then everything would be fine.

Now, having all of this going on when trying to complete my weekly seminar work, meet deadlines and have somewhat of a social life was often just too much. I was exhausted. Every assignment would result in a breakdown of tears, self-loathing, and feelings of not being able to do this (the work that is). And when I say every assignment, I do mean every…single…one. You do think that it would be easier to quit at this stage, but I needed to do this. My future career depended on it and I would not let my OCD stop me.

I suppose what I want people to take away from this brief insight into my undergraduate study is this: doing a degree is hard. Doing a degree with a mental illness feels 100x times harder. However, persevering is worth it. There will be many times when you feel so exhausted that you just want to throw in the towel and walk away, yet something keeps you going. In a way, I do think my OCD was a part of this. The fear and anxiety that accompanied the thoughts of failing was so strong that completing every assignment became a ritual in itself – and to reach the goal of finishing my degree, I felt that this was ok. I dragged myself, kicking and screaming, to the end and completed my BA with the highest award I could get. And as I did this with the added struggles of OCD, I felt proud.

However, looking back now, I do wish that I had done things differently. Yes, I got through my undergraduate degree, an MA, and now I’m dragging myself through a PhD, yet I only realise now that it didn’t need to be so difficult. There have been a lot of lows, even a lot of highs, and in my future blog posts I’ll share with you some of the deeper details of my experiences and impart some of the advice I wish I had been given at the start of my journey to recovery.

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Counselled to Counsellor: A Postgraduate student with OCD

Beth (memyselfnmentalhealth.wordpress.com) shares her personal mental health journey, and how she is managing her illness alongside embarking on a postgraduate course.

-Beth Hopkins

So, my name is Beth. 

On paper, I’m a 22 year old Psychology Graduate with a lovely boyfriend and a supportive family. I spend about 90% of the time in fleecy PJ bottoms, have very high maintenance eyebrows and am an absolute cake addict. However, what many people don’t know about me is that I face a daily battle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and anxiety. 

For those of you who don’t know, OCD is an anxiety disorder made up of obsessional thoughts. These obsessional thoughts cause the individual to carry out compulsions in an attempt to reduce the uneasy feeling. For example, with myself, I have a constant dread something awful is going to happen. When this unwelcome and, quite frankly, terrifying thought pops into my head, I find it far too difficult to just ignore. My brain tricks me into thinking if I don’t want this awful thing to happen, I must complete a routine to prevent it. It seems irrational even writing this down but the OCD makes it seem so real. 

In my final year of university, the anxiety became too much for me to cope with. It spiralled into depression and I faced a really difficult few months. I find it fascinating when people can recall their experiences with depression through blog posts and autobiographies etc because I really cannot reflect nor can I vividly remember my own. When I look back on this period of my life, I see an empty, dark tunnel where time crept by slowly. Until, I eventually did find the exit. 

It is my recovery from depression that I can remember. My family were the ones who encouraged me to seek help which I am so grateful for. At a time I wasn’t present myself, they were there to recognise this. I ended up being prescribed medication (sertraline) and received regular counselling, both of which helped me immensely. However, I do still have good and bad days. I don’t think my OCD will ever completely go, it’s something that will forever accompany me through life. But I’m still pushing on and I will not let it stop me. So take that. 

It feels that now is the right time for me to begin to share my experiences about how I have dealt with mental health being such a massive part of my life. The help I have received for both depression and OCD has driven me to help others who are also struggling and I hope that I will be able to do that through continuing to share and write about my experiences. Alongside this, I have recently been accepted onto a Counselling Psychology masters which has started this week (eek!). 

I hope to use my own personal blog, as well as my writing in general to share my journey of being an individual who has, and still does, receive help for their mental health difficulties to becoming a qualified Counsellor myself. I want to share my experience in the hope that other students also beginning an academic journey of sorts, who also have their own mental health problems, can relate and feel less alone. 

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Worried about starting uni? You’re not alone!

Lisa (aboveanxiety.blogspot.com) shares some valuable tips for anybody that is starting university this September and is feeling a bit worried or vulnerable.

-Lisa

In no less than one weeks’ time, I am going to be starting University (just typing that sentence alone makes my stomach churn a little). Honestly, if you’d told me this time last year that I would be in this situation, I wouldn’t have believed you. I was suffering from severe OCD along with depression and could barely function without help from my Mum, so the idea of moving out and becoming independent was completely off the table.

One year on and University is exactly where I’m heading! Now, I think it is safe to say that the prospect of starting University is a pretty terrifying one for anybody. For some of us though, this anxiety can be more extreme and harder to brush off – especially when you have a mental health condition thrown into the mix. 

For this reason, I wanted to write a post for anybody who finds themselves in a similar position to me. Someone who may be excited to start University, but is also absolutely petrified about it. I will attempt to share with you a few tips that are helping me during this time, but I also hope to reassure you that you aren’t alone in feeling this way – it is actually perfectly normal!

1) Know that you aren’t alone – other people understand!

The words ‘you are not alone’ seem so simple to say, yet are also easy to forget in times of stress or anxiety. It can often feel like you are the only one that is feeling a certain way, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. No matter how it may feel, I can assure you that you aren’t alone. There are plenty of people out there that understand exactly how you are feeling (take me for example!).

2) Talking to somebody can help

If the idea of starting University is really worrying you, tell somebody. Don’t keep all of that anxiety bottled up until it becomes an even bigger deal. Talk to your parents, your friends – anybody that you trust and know will listen to you. You might even find that your friends are just as nervous as you are about University, they just haven’t mentioned it before. Talking about things can really help to take some of the weight off your shoulders, and other people might offer you some advice that you hadn’t considered before.

3) Be prepared!

One of the best things that you can do to make the move to University as smooth as possible, is making sure that you are prepared. There are loads of things that you can do to make this possible, such as forming a list of things you need to do or get before you go. This could be on your phone or in a notebook; whichever you find most helpful. This way it is there for whenever you need it, allowing you to forget about the whole University thing every now and then whilst knowing that it is all taken care of. Personally, I find it useful to write lists in a notebook or in my weekly diary (so long as I actually remember to look at those lists!).

4) Find out what support your University can offer you

If you are worried about your mental health when you are at University research exactly what support your University offers. Visit their webpage and look for their wellbeing services, or alternatively phone them and ask. Most Universities have some kind of wellbeing team on hand for when their students have a wobble. If necessary, make them aware of your mental health conditions before you arrive. Not only could this make it easier for you to drop in when you are actually there, but it will also help the University decide beforehand how best they can support you during your time there. 

And finally, but most importantly…

5) Take care of yourself

It is all too easy when your anxiety is at an all-time high to forget to look after yourself. Or at least, you know that you should, but your anxiety is making it much more difficult. Despite this, I can’t emphasise enough that getting enough sleep, eating well and staying hydrated is so, so important for both your physical and mental health. You don’t want to get to University feeling drained and unwell – this really isn’t going to help the situation! Instead, you want to turn up feeling well with enough energy to fully get involved in all of the exciting opportunities that University will have to offer. So, no matter how hard it is (and trust me, I know how hard it can be) make sure you take care of yourself.

So these are just a few tips that I hope you may find useful if you are as nervous as I am about starting University. It’s important to remember that as scary as it all seems now, it is also super exciting, so try to enjoy this time as much as you can and make the most of the new opportunities on offer! And remember, you aren’t alone! 

Good luck!

Getting ready to go to uni? Find out more tips about getting started with our Starting University guide.

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