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Showing posts with label Family and Friends. Show all posts

Why seeking help now is vital

A positive message about seeking help at university (from experience), and why you shouldn't give up on your dreams.

- Mai Behmber

Hi, reader! My name is Mai, I am a bioscience student at Swansea University, and this is my story of how I attempted to make my way through university without seeking help to manage my mental illness.

From as far back as I can remember, I have had an obsession with the sea and all its creatures. I have killer whale, dolphin and even octopus cuddly toys from when I was little, and more books about the sea than I can count. But I have also, for many years, experienced a heaviness that I couldn’t quite explain. I can only say that it feels like a black hole in my chest that varies daily in size. Some days, it completely sucks me in, and all I can do is lie helplessly in bed. Other days, it’s tiny and barely noticeable. The black hole was still very much with me when I started university in September 2016. I was, as I am now, on a foundation biology course to then go on to do a degree in marine biology. In doing this, I am working towards my lifelong goal of becoming a marine biologist.

Before coming to university, I had been in treatment for a year trying to recover from my undiagnosed mental illness. However, about a month in, and a second medication change later, I stopped attending lectures as my paranoia grew worse and the black hole became completely overwhelming. I felt scared and alone. My thoughts were no longer safe, and I couldn’t escape to dreamland as my mind felt plagued. Instead of reaching out for help, I tried to combat it myself. I didn’t open up to my parents, I didn’t seek counselling. All I did was ask for another medication change. Although being on the correct medication is an important step to some people’s recovery, it isn’t complete without the help of your family, friends and professionals.

Halfway through the academic year, the head of course called me in and told me that the university felt it was best for me to suspend my studies, and to try again the following year. At first, I was devastated. I thought I had messed up my future and my dream career. Thinking about not going to university made me feel like I had no future. Then the university let me know that they had no doubt about me being able to achieve getting my degree. This gave me hope that I still had a shot at getting everything I ever wanted.

Suspending was the best decision that could possibly have been made, as it gave me a chance to seek the help I truly needed. During the six months away from university, I managed to find the right combination of medication and counselling with the help of my family.

I have restarted the foundation year and I couldn’t be doing better. My grades are great, my attendance is what it should be, my family are in the know with what is going on in my head, and the university have, in the best way possible, wrapped me in bubble wrap. It feels as if the black hole is still there but other people are helping me keep it manageable. There’s no way I can fall backwards without someone catching me, and for the first time in years I feel confident and supported. I am overwhelmed with the support I have been able to get from the university. I couldn’t be in a safer place.

Hi, I’m Mai! I am a bioscience student at Swansea University, and suffer from an undiagnosed mental illness. I wanted to write a blog for Student Minds to let students know that they’re not alone in

their difficulties.

Supporting Someone with Mental Health Difficulties

in: Anxiety Family and Friends

Jackson shares his experiences living with anxiety and how it affects his relationships.

-Jackson Miller

After receiving plenty of supportive feedback for my first anxiety post, I wanted to write this second post without hesitation. I was asked what advice I'd give to the loved ones of those suffering from anxiety or any other mental difficulty.

This article contains details of my own relationship and the strain anxiety has placed upon it. I also give advice to those who are family, friends, or partners of someone with a mental illness, from the perspective of that person. Friendship, family relationship, or romantic relationship - this content applies to all.

My Relationship

I'm currently in a relationship with someone who makes me smile brighter than anything else in this world. We share the same values and thrive in our relationship as it's suffused with trust and honesty.

We've been together for two and a half years and, like all relationships, we've had some tough times. But we've had an exceptionally strong relationship; whenever the few arguments we've had did arise we always handled it maturely and supported each other.

My Relationship + Anxiety

Now that you have a little insight into my relationship and its stability, let me tell you about how my anxiety has affected the relationship. There have been many major effects that my anxiety has had on my relationship:

* Being unable to travel

* Being unable to eat at her house

* Being unable to do events with her family

* Being extremely clingy at times

* Putting pressure on her as my supportive anchor

* Constantly leaning on her when my anxiety drained my own strength

* She had to be there with me during anxiety attacks

* She had to watch for years as my anxiety ate away at me

* She had to explain to people why we didn't attend certain events

She Became My Anchor

My girlfriend is now the one thing in the world that takes my anxiety away. Of course, it still does occur - but it lessens when I'm with her and even when it does resurface she helps me through it.

If you become a grounding force for a person you know with a mental illness, there are a couple things you need to realise:

* They will depend on you, probably more than anyone else in their life

* You'll take on a significant responsibility

* At times, they'll feel like a burden to you

* They will need you, especially when you're away from them

We Can Be Burdens - And We Know It

I'm not going to rant about how I feel sorry for myself for being a burden, but I will address this truth: my anxiety makes life for me and everyone else more difficult at times.

If you are involved with someone with mental health difficulties, understand that they will feel guilty. They are aware of the pressure they bring, and they sometimes think you'd be better off without them. This can affect their self-esteem; they won't show it all the time and often won't even admit it, but it can exacerbate their low mood.

I'm saying this because it is important to be aware of the way they view your relationship. Look out for when they try to distance themselves from you just to spare you, as these are the times when we need support the most. While it's difficult because we don't want to cause you pain or stress, it's never good for us to push you away.

I've learned that trying to deny being a burden isn't healthy, but growing engulfed by it is even worse. Everyone has their imperfections, and we continue to love each other anyway.

How Can You Be Supportive?

If you have a relationship with someone who suffers from mental health difficulties,

* Support them as much as you can

* Learn about their situation

* Remind them of the positives, not the negatives

* Be there to help them when they are down. Paradoxically, giving them space can be key. If you can't help - and often, the only one who can help them is them - then just be there for when they need you.

For the full-length article and more on the subject, visit collegeinsightboost.ca

Hi, I’m Jackson. I’m a first year business student attending Humber College with a deep passion for reading, writing, and inspiring others. I’ve suffered with two mental illnesses for several years now and understand how much helpful information can improve your situation. Mental illnesses have a major impact on relationships, friendships, academic performance, careers, and basic living. After experiencing the struggles a mental illness can cause, I decided I wanted to write for Student Minds and share what I’ve learned from my personal experiences to help those in similar situations.

Travelling with Stress and Depression: 5 tips on making beautiful memories

in: Advice Depression Family and Friends Looking after yourself mental health Recovery Self Care self-help Stress stress awareness week student travelling

Zahra provides her top 5 tips on how to make the most of travelling when you're dealing with stress and depression.

- Zahra Rahman

Travelling is a great way to learn about new cultures, foods and people. It might not magically cure you of the negative feelings in your life, but it is a great experience and can help you take a break and gain some perspective. As a sufferer of depression, I have a few tips that may help you look on the brighter side of travelling and that will also, hopefully, give you the encouragement to travel if you haven’t before!

1) Plan ahead

A drastic change – even a positive one – taking place without any planning can be extremely daunting, so do as much research as you can before you go. Check the FCO website for any travel updates, research where the nearest pharmacy or doctor is, locate the beaches, pack your EHIC card and buy some travel insurance. Having an FCO travellers’ checklist to hand is a great way to help you before you set off.

2) Take your closest friend or family member – or both!

Travelling solo can be an amazing; you can learn a lot about yourself and have a completely different experience. However, if that’s just too big at this stage in your life then it’s fine to save that trip for another time. Having a close friend with you when travelling means you have someone to support you, as well as sharing your excitement and experience. They’ll probably even make things more exciting for you!

3) Build confidence

Being away from home is a great time to try out new things and venture outside of your comfort zone. You never know, that confidence you build abroad might even stay once you return home. That’s not to say that you should aim to come back from a trip as a completely different person; learn to love yourself for who you are and take steps to build a better version of you.

4) Don’t just go to the tourist parts

I have been to Turkey twice so far. The first time I went to Bodrum, which was a great holiday but obviously a tourist spot; restaurants served “English Breakfasts” and all the music in the bazaars were American pop songs.

The second time I did a road trip around all of Turkey, which was amazing. However, one thing hit me hard: I saw two boys aged between 5-8 years old, begging for money on the metro. The younger boy had a bandage over his eye and looked so, so tired. His older brother was dragging him along the carriage, scared of losing him.
This broke my heart, but also began to fix me. I realised that I may have some negatives in my life that stress me out, but I am not in the position of those children. These kids are struggling to stay alive.
Seeing tragedies sometimes hits your own reality hard, but gives your mental health a positive effect.

5) Take photos and videos: Be trigger happy on the camera!

Don’t worry, you don’t need to be a professional photographer or have a top end DSLR to do this. Whatever pictures and videos you take are just for you, to remember the amazing time you had, how you grew as a person and how that country was a part of it. Looking at your memories will pick you up on a bad day and will get you planning your next holiday. And you never know, one day you will be that solo traveller!

You can follow the FCO on Facebook and Twitter @FCOtravel and on Instagram under @ukforeignoffice for further information and travel safety advice.

Hi! My name is Zahra Rahman and I am a Digital Media Student at the University of Brighton. I love laughing, travelling, food, Bollywood and getting involved with charities that help vulnerable people across the world. The one thing I say to myself when things get tough is, "This is happening for a good reason". Stay positive and keep smiling!

Fresher’s Fever: behind the curtain of euphoria

in: comfort zone Family and Friends Finding support First Year (Freshers) Friendships Looking after yourself mental health student university

Emma writes about how being a Fresher isn't necessarily carefree and the best time of your life, and reassures readers that if you're struggling to settle into uni, you won't be the only one who feels this way.

- Emma Wilson

Insecurity.

Low self-esteem.

Perceived rejection.

These are the feelings that are seemingly hidden behind the mask of Fresher’s fever.

University can be the best time of your life. It is a chance to make long-lasting friendships, learn from professors who are experts in their subject area, and experience the big wide world outside of the family home.

But there is another side to starting university, one that isn’t glamourised in the news or spoken about during sixth-form. And that is dealing with the emotions, thoughts and feelings that arise when dealing with a new environment. This is most apparent in the first few weeks of university, when social events take place and friendships are being formed.

Amidst the haze and whirlwind of Fresher’s week and your first few months at university, it may get to the point where you start to wonder: am I fitting in? Why are those girls hanging out but haven’t invited me? Why do I feel lonely when last night I felt on top of the world? I didn’t go to clubbing last night, will I now be an outsider? Have I missed out?

Let me tell you this. How you feel is how most people feel when starting university. Seriously. It is only in hindsight and having spoken to university friends that I have learned just how terrified everyone feels during those first few weeks or months. It is amazing what persona people can put on during the quest for acceptance amongst one’s peers.

It is also important to gain some perspective about meeting new people. If you're lucky, you'll get on with your new flatmate as soon as you realise your mutual love for the Great British Bake Off. But more often than not, it can take a while to find a group of people that match your interests.

It is important to remember this: friendships don’t form overnight – not those which will stand the test of time. These strong bonds develop over months or years. Just think about the friends you have from back home. Those who mean the most won’t leave your life. In fact, going to university or moving away is a real test of any friendship. Having graduated from university in 2013, I can see this now. I ended up becoming good friends with people from outside of my course; those I hadn’t even met until the second term, or even the second year of university. People come and go in our lives. It’s important to be surrounded by people who inspire you, who drive you forward – who make you feel good about who you are.

My final piece of advice is this: enjoy the start of your university adventure. It is an experience like no other. But try to remember who you are. It’s good to step outside your comfort zone, but don’t go beyond your limits – respect yourself, and others will respect you. Don’t worry about being called the “boring one” for not taking 10 shots of tequila. And don’t feel like you don’t deserve to join your flatmates on a trip to Nando’s just because you never received that text message – it’s nothing personal, things just get a little hectic. And if these doubts start to creep into your mind, don’t fret. Chances are, most people are feeling the same.

If you are finding the start of university tough, we have more information about tips for settling in, missing home, and ways of looking after yourself on the Student Minds website here and information about finding support here.

Hi everyone, I'm Emma. I graduated from King's College London in 2013 and completed an MSc in 2016. I struggled with different mental and physical health problems whilst at university and am keen to share some of the things that did, and didn't, help in my recovery. I now write, train and consult in the field of mental health and you can find me on Twitter (@MindfulEm).

Assignment 1: Accepting Me

in: Anxiety Family and Friends Finding support First Year (Freshers) grief Looking after yourself

Charlotte discusses her experience with grief and ongoing anxiety regarding her decision to change university course.

- Charlotte Stevenson

When my granddad passed away from cancer, I was 17 years old. It was incredibly hard - not only had I always felt closest to him, but I had also been caring for him. The weeks which followed are a blur of grief, and my brain seems to have erased much of what happened. This is largely because at the same time, I was also learning to cope with my own anxiety and panic disorder.

Grief and anxiety are difficult to handle together. At first, both seemed entirely out of control; whenever I managed to control one, the other would rear its ugly head. For a long time, I tried to ignore it all and get on with life as ‘normal’ - which back then meant giving all my attention to A level's and not really listening to my brain. Instead of allowing myself the time and space I needed to process everything, I threw myself into schoolwork and extra-curriculars. While these things mattered to me, they didn't distract from my larger problems. If anything, I now realise that it was merely to create the illusion that I was fine.

Until this point, I had spent most of my life preparing to be a classical singer. This dream had led me to sing with choirs and orchestras all over Europe, audition for elite conservatoires, and take extra exams to prove my vocal ability. However, the high-pressure environment of classical singing isn't for everyone. When I began a conservatoire course after A levels, I was excited! But upon arrival, I found that all my hard work, even at my ideal school, wasn’t a time machine that could take me back to my former self. In fact, throughout my entire time at music college, I felt like a failure; nothing made sense and I didn’t feel like I belonged. I decided to try moving home to complete the first year of my course.

Once I returned home, I told my mum everything. I had been incredibly worried because I didn't want to upset or disappoint her after everything we went through with granddad. But once I had told her (and we both spent that evening crying) I felt massive relief - now it was out loud, it was real. I had acknowledged anxiety for the first time. After that moment, which was a long time in the making, I was then able to learn how to care of myself and my mental health properly. I started speaking about it more, balancing my workload, and generally putting myself first. It isn't easy, and still isn’t 100% natural, but I’m gradually adjusting.

The most important step I made towards self-care was re-applying to university for a subject I love: English Literature. When you train for music all your life, it’s very easy to put on a pair of blinkers, thinking it’s your only possible future, but there were always other subjects that I enjoyed studying. In fact, now I want to learn everything I can in my lifetime. Getting accepted to my dream literature course was another confusing milestone. While I was over the moon, I also thought that I had let my granddad down. Before he passed away, he made my mum promise that I wouldn't give up music. I spoke to mum, and she said that while it was hard, I had made the right decision for myself and my own happiness - which is all that granddad would have wanted. She was right - studying English quite literally saved my life.

If there is one thing that I hope you take from this, it’s that putting yourself first and talking about your problems – especially when it’s difficult – is the best way to take care of your mental health. Too often, because it’s not physical, we call the problem 'imaginary'. But you would seek help for a broken leg, and it's the same for your brain. Telling someone you trust can be the first step to recovery - not straightaway, but gradually. It might not seem so now but I can promise you, reaching out does make a difference.

Hi, I'm Charlotte and I'm a student at York St. John University. My ambition is to be a writer, and I have worked on projects with UCAS, the Guardian, and the Travel Pocket Guide. Writing about anxiety, how I have dealt with it, and the importance of putting mental health first, is some of the most important work I have yet produced, which is why writing for Student Minds matters so much to me.

Resources for overcoming Mental Health Difficulties

in: Advice exercise Family and Friends Finding support inspiration Looking after yourself mental health Self Care

Michael shares his go-to resources for mental health difficulties.

- Michael Rigby

There are so many resources that will help you get back up after being knocked down. However, we don’t always realise this… we tend to think we have nothing that can help us. I’ve probably asked myself more than a thousand times: “how do I get back up from this?” I even have a couple of falls to this day, but that’s just part of the rebuilding process. Here is a list of resources that could help:

1: Family/Friends- These are the key people who will always be there for you, whether you’re at your best or your worst. Never forget to show your appreciation for these people: you only get one set of parents, and friends can be just like family. I’m not saying that all friends will be there for you at your moment of weakness, but re-evaluate your group of friends you have and think about the ones who are there for you as much as you are there for them. Those people will help you, and you will probably find that you’re helping them as well.

2: Physical Activity- I understand not everyone likes this subject. However, it’s proven that exercising daily for at least 30 minutes to an hour will improve your mental health as well as your physical health. Also, it can be a massive stress-reliever. You can’t beat the feeling of putting on headphones and blocking out this stressful world for an hour.

3: YouTube- I’ve managed to find many motivational videos that have been put together by professionals. Honestly, I think they are brilliant. My personal favourite: “Unbroken by Mateusz M”, a video that includes inspirational lines from motivational speakers Les Brown and Eric Thomas, and the late Louis Zamperini and Steve Jobs.

4: The background of your role models- Many people tend to think that big names have had it easy and are lucky to be where they are in life. However, that’s not always the case. These people are also human, just like the rest of us, and you’ll find that these individuals share our stories in some way. I personally think autobiographies are very engaging reads and you’ll get an insight into what life was like before ‘success’. At the moment, I’m reading the autobiography of the well known comedian Kevin Hart. Personally, I think the story is fantastic. To see somebody fight and crawl to make it to the big time inspires me. He’s not the only person to have had a difficult life before fame. Therefore, think of one of your role-models and go and read their story.

You’ll find that everyone has a story, but what matters is how you choose to write the next chapter. These people were just like us… the only difference is that they’re making their story the best it can possibly be. You could say “they’re true success stories” which is true. However, they’re also just people who didn’t let hard times defeat them; that’s the true success of their stories.

We all know these times are difficult. However, we have to keep going. Nothing that is dragging you down should be allowed to defeat you or define who you are as a person. You’re not weak, you’re not a quitter, you’re one of the strongest people in the world. Only the very few can relate to how hard it is to battle with your mind everyday. You will overcome this… you just have to KEEP FIGHTING!

Hi, I'm Michael Rigby and I study Sports Business and Broadcasting at UCFB Wembley. I have experienced mental illness, including depression and social anxiety, since the age of 14.

Hidden Away: Are you Okay?

in: Family and Friends Finding support mental health Trauma university

Chelsea discusses the challenges of dealing with mental health and coming to terms with accepting help.

- Chelsea Shurland

I have contemplated many times about whether or not I should post this. It opens people up to my world and some of the painful things I have experienced, but I have decided the time is now. The time is now because I want to inspire others to get help and to also share their stories. The purpose of this blog is to encourage you to share your stories and to also show that I am just like you.

I first started experiencing terrible nightmares five years ago. I put it to the back of my mind and thought of it as just a stage that I would get over. No one sees your dreams so they do not know what terror you have experienced during the night. It is almost hidden and secretive; only seen through tired eyes or wry smiles throughout the day. This is like most mental illnesses. Some are more noticeable than others but for the most part people assume you are fine. That was the inspiration for the naming of this post (Hidden away: Are you Okay?) If you are physically unwell it is written across your face or perhaps all over your body with spots or lumps. On the other hand, most people are unable to spot mental health illnesses as it may be hidden away.

So let me continue with my experience… a couple of months ago, my dreams came back again. These dreams were flashbacks of abuse I experienced in my childhood. I was stuck in a rut of negative thinking, negative habits, thoughts spiralling out of control….the list is endless. However, I just put it to the back of mind until one day someone asked me if I was okay. ‘Are you okay?’ They asked. Then tears started streaming. It was then that I decided to seek some sort of help.

This was then followed by three and a half weeks off work whilst I tried to figure out what was wrong. Why couldn’t I just feel better mentally? Why was no one in my house noticing I was upset? Would people think I’m over reacting? Would people believe me? These were the questions I kept asking myself but I just couldn’t figure it out so I decided to go to my GP. I didn’t think he would be able to help but I just needed it and to my surprise, he signed me off work and referred me straight away to the wellbeing team. I felt a sigh of relief but still uncertainty, as I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I didn’t know what to say to others or how they would receive the information. On my sick note it just said “depressive disorder”. I didn’t feel like going into details of why I was feeling the way I did, so I just said I was unwell.

I went for a whole week without anyone in my house noticing if I was okay which made me feel even more anxious to say how I was feeling. I just wanted someone to ask me “are you okay?” This is no way intended to attack my friends and family but rather to draw attention to how simple phrases such as “are you okay” can make a difference to someone’s day. Simple phrases like “are you okay?” or “have you had a good day?” can really make a difference in ALL situations. Without using these phrases in daily life, no one was able to notice that I was suffering silently like a large percentage of individuals with mental health difficulties do.

As a result of that, I just want to encourage those who are suffering silently or experiencing difficulties to take the step to get help. To those who are on the other side, be aware, be supportive and be patient. We all experience difficult times in our lives and one day you may need someone to say “are you okay?” This hasn’t been easy to do as I am quite a private person but nothing great ever comes from a comfort zone. I want to help others so I hope this helps you to be brave, get help and inspire others too.

Hi my name is Chelsea Shurland and I was born on the sunny island of Barbados. I am 23 years old and I am currently a student at City University London studying Counselling Psychology. I wanted to write for Student Minds as I have realised that one of my purposes in life is to inspire and help others within the mental health sector.

Never Giving Up

in: Anxiety Family and Friends living at home OCD student

Living away from home isn't always easy, especially for those of us who suffer from mental health difficulties. But there are other ways to complete your degree whilst living at home...

- Katie

Hi, I’ll start this off by introducing myself: I’m Katie, a history student at Queen Mary University of London. Oh, and I suffer from GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder). As fate would have it, my mental health started deteriorating just before I started my first year at university (I know. Great planning, brain). Let’s just say first year wasn’t exactly a walk in the park for me, but I got help and I got better at dealing with my difficulties.

Of course, mental health issues don’t just disappear: instead, you learn what makes you feel better and what makes you feel worse. By the end of first year, I had realised that what really made me happy was my family. We have always been an extremely close family. Throughout my first year I was coming home every single weekend. Home is where I felt safe.

When first year was finally over and I spent my long summer at home, I found myself dreading the idea of having to start second year and being away from home again. So many of my friends love being at University, having their independence and being able to go out when they want, to eat what they want, and to do what they want – but that’s not me. I even thought about dropping out, but I love my degree. I didn’t want my mental health to dictate my life for me.

So I decided that, for my second year, I would have the best of both worlds (don’t start singing the Hannah Montana theme tune). I would live at home, and complete my history degree, and begin commuting. I live in Norfolk, and it’s a four hour round-trip to and from university, which is one hell of a commute, but I knew that this was the right decision for me. Of course the thought of all that travelling and having to rely on public transport was scary, but as soon as I made that decision, it was like a huge weight had been lifted.

I’m not going to lie: it is a long journey. But I can read, or listen to music or do coursework whilst I travel, and I know that at the end of each day, I’m going back to my home, to my family (and my adorable puppy), and the commute is a small price to pay for all of this.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that mental health issues suck. No one wants them and they have a tendency to flare up at the worst of times, but we can’t let these issues dictate how we live our lives. University is a big deal and so many people experience it differently. Just because I live at home and don’t go out partying every night doesn’t mean I’m not a ‘proper student’. No matter how bad things get, it will always get better and there will always be a way for everyone to do what they want to do. I wanted to complete my degree but I wanted to live at home, and I got used to the commute. For anyone thinking about commuting: just give it a go. You might just find that it is the solution to your university dilemmas, like it was for me. Good luck to anyone who might be reading this, and however you’re feeling right now – anxious, apprehensive, excited – I hope that you keep fighting and never give up.

Hello, I’m Katie, a history student in her second year at Queen Mary University of London. Going to university while living with diagnoses of GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) can be difficult; I am writing for Student Minds to share my experiences.

How to: Navigate Uni with a Dissociative Disorder

in: Anxiety Bereavement Counselling Depression Dissociative Disorder Family and Friends First Year (Freshers) Holidays mental health Recovery university

Recognising mental illness at university can be hard. Especially, as with dissociative disorders, they aren't talked about very often.

-Elise Jackson

University is undoubtedly amazing. However, getting through the first year can be a challenge for many. Moving away from everything that is familiar, meeting a diverse array of completely new people and having to adapt to an entirely new way of learning is not easy, to say the least. For me, the summer before I started university was the hardest of my life. I lost a lot. My mum had moved half way across the country, my family sold the only home I’d ever known and my friends, destined for universities up and down the country, had to say goodbye. This summer of loss was made only more difficult, by a previous, truly world shattering, loss that occurred during my A-level exams. Four days before my 18th birthday, I lost my big brother to SUDEP (Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy). It was one week before his 22nd birthday. We came to terms with it somehow but grieving whilst simultaneously moving house, sitting A-level exams and leaving home for the first time to embark on my new student life, unsurprisingly, proved difficult.

I struggled. Within two days of being at university, my parents had phoned the university to help me get some support. I was in the counseling service before the end of Freshers. The counselors were brilliant, very understanding, informed, and acted immediately. Thankfully, when I had settled in, things got better fast. My entire block of fellow first years was super sociable. We spent a lot of time living as one huge flat. I was also lucky enough to have one of my best friends from home living two blocks down. Between my block and his flat, housing for second year was sorted by mid-November. Things were going well so I stopped going to counseling.

But.

The thing about mental health is that it can fluctuate, it's somewhat unpredictable. Around February time I had to return my mum's new home in Norfolk for a few days because I felt... wrong. At the time, I thought it was exhaustion and decided a few days at home would solve it. And it did, for a little while. These short periods of what I can only describe as fogginess came to every couple of months but always passed within a week or so. Exams came and went and summer returned.

During summer, I’m often between places. I usually choose to spend most of the holiday period in Sussex as it is where the majority of my friends are. It also means I can be close to my dad’s family. Reflecting on that first summer of University, I think I must have felt it coming to some extent but not really acknowledged it. I went to stay in Norfolk and something hit me like a tidal wave. This time, I was forced to realize that something was going on in my brain that couldn’t be simply solved by a week at home. I lived for a month feeling like I wasn’t in my own body. I felt I was watching life through a hazy screen. Eventually, I found out that I was suffering from DPD (depersonalization disorder), triggered by depression.

When I returned to uni, I found out about Student Minds and began volunteering for them. I decided I needed to take control of my own brain. My mental health still fluctuates a lot. I’ll often be feeling fine and then become unwell for a few months. Learning how to deal with this has been the biggest challenge of my second year. Dissociative disorders are not often talked about nor are they well researched. During a relapse, I feel drunk all the time or like a robot who can’t feel anything under the surface. Knowing that there are ways to reconnect with your body is the most important thing. I practice mindfulness, meditation and yoga to stay connected to my body and remain grounded. I intend to return to counseling. But as always, more needs to be done, but I remain optimistic that it will.

Hello! I'm Elise. I'm currently in my final year studying English Language and Literature at the University of Nottingham. My writings for Student Minds will range from pieces about depression and DPD to coping with loss, bereavement and change during your studies - all the while remaining mindful and getting the most out of university life. Thanks for reading!

Mental Health Over Summer: Rachael's Experience

in: Advice Bipolar Family and Friends Peer support Summer

Rachael shares her experience of how best to work and rest during the summer.

- Rachael Johnston

What do you do to help with your mental health over the summer?

I try and keep myself as occupied as possible. To keep focused, it’s really important for me to plan ahead and have things set in my diary to look forward to. My previous job as a teaching assistant meant I had the whole summer off; however, I’m now a support worker supporting children with additional needs, which makes this summer a bit different.

What do you like to do during the summer?

I have my birthday over the summer, so there is usually the build up to that. I took two weeks annual leave to be able to have some time with my family and friends to celebrate. I have had a short weekend away with my mum, which was nice, and I braved a massage. I’ve never had a massage, so I’ve decided I want to try and keep up to see if it helps me unwind a bit more.

What do you find hardest in the summer?

When we do get the sun, it usually means shorts and strappy tops. Currently my weight isn’t great, so I’m very body conscious. I also have scarring from self-harm. This summer, I’ve been a bit braver, and on really hot days I’ve just thought ‘sod it’! Then there are the big events and get-togethers! Usually it’s a time when everyone seems to go out and there is never a reasonable excuse not to go, so I try and tell myself to give it a go. If things do get too overwhelming, I can always go, so I find myself driving to places and ditching the alcohol in favour of a quick exit if I need it.

What differences have you found in your mental health over the summer compared to when you’re at university?

I’ve never been a fan of the summer holiday, even when I was in school. I like being busy and having something to do. So I do notice that when my brain isn’t occupied, I start to feel low. However, when I’ve not been in university for a while, I start to become anxious about going back. I check and recheck my personalised plan so I can reassure myself that any new tutors know what additional steps need to be taken. I suppose that’s the thing with mental health: no matter what I do, that little voice never seems to be satisfied.

Do you have any advice for other students who struggle with their mental health in the summer?

I’d say plan ahead. If you’re struggling, don’t bottle it in. If you’re not up to do something which you have planned, be honest and don’t just cancel, my friends have either been able to talk me round into going out for a little while, or they’re happy to find a good film and stay in.
If you have appointments through the summer, stick to them, get to them even if you’d rather be sitting in. Sometimes it helps your therapists to see you in person when you’re really down, to get a fuller understanding of your situation.
To avoid staying stuck in a cycle of wearing the same clothes for days, I also try and set an alarm to have a fixed time when I have to have a shower and change.

Are you interested in getting involved in the “Mental Health over the Summer” blog series? Please do not hesitate to email us at blog@studentminds.org.

Hi, I’m Rachael. I’ve been blogging on and off for a few years now around my experience of living with Anorexia and Borderline Personality Disorder. Although I’m meant to be on a break from university this summer I requested an extension for my last assignment due to a dip in my mental health, so I’ve been able to keep myself occupied with this summer with uni work and my job as a support worker.

https://thejourneyback2life.wordpress.com/2017/07/14/to-the-bone/

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