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Why I decided to shave my head for Mental Health Charities

in: #AmazingRaise Anxiety Depression Fundraising Leaving Uni Suicide

Amelia shares her journey to making the decision to shave her head for mental health charities.

- Amelia Hartley

I recently created a video, posted on YouTube, sharing my story behind choosing to shave my head on the 3rd December this year to raise money for Student Minds and the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM).

Despite writing about my motivations on my fundraising page and in emails to friends and family, writing and filming a video to be posted online for the world to see was an incredibly daunting process. It took a lot of courage: courage I didn’t know I had. It showed me how far I have come and how much strength I have – we all have so much strength.

I’ve experienced some heightened anxiety over the past couple of months. Tackling a big fundraising goal is £2500 isn’t easy. I’ve had fears of not reaching my target, nobody attending the event, being laughed at or judged once the hair goes, friends not supporting me…the list goes on! However, I have had plenty of individuals express their support and encouragement.

Shaving my head for charity has become so much more than just trying to raise money for the causes. It’s also about showing people that it’s okay to talk about mental health and that recovery doesn’t happen overnight. It’s about reducing the stigma, as we all have mental health and we should all respect it like we do with our physical health. It’s about raising awareness of two amazing charities who are supporting thousands of individuals across the UK and will continue to support thousands more. I never thought I would one day be able to talk openly and honestly about my mental health, but here I am.

I was 14, and living in Sydney, when first diagnosed with depression. I felt like the only person of my friends, year group, even school, who wasn't 'happy' all the time. I thought I shouldn't feel like this because nothing had happened to trigger how I felt. I was looking for an excuse, and hoping that excuse would provide a solution to becoming better.

My methods for feeling better weren't healthy; I was self-harming, drinking and isolating myself. I had suicidal feelings. I started taking anti-depressants but I didn’t want anyone to know, or they'd know that something was wrong with me. I’ve realised now how helpful they are to some people, including myself. I still take them, but I’m not embarrassed or ashamed; having depression isn’t shameful.

In September 2010, my best friend died and my world completely fell apart. This was my first experience of 'suicide'. It was a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and we will never know whatever led him to that point. A life taken at 18: he had so much more to do, and we had so much love and hugs still to give him. Sometimes things are buried so deeply that nobody can help at the crucial moment. I would do anything to bring him back, but since I can’t, I want to try to help fewer men take their own lives. This is why I have chosen the Campaign Against Living Miserably, the male suicide prevention charity, as one of the charities to raise money for. In 2016, 76% of all suicides in the UK were male, and this has been the case since the early 1990s. It is the biggest killer of men under 45. However, CALM prevents over 250 suicides every year. They offer a helpline, website resources, and support, tackle stigma through massive national campaigns and increase the awareness of male suicide rates. Just a £7 donation can pay for a potentially life-saving call, so giving a little can do a lot.

I have personally seen that suicide is preventable – another close friend of mine, who had a suicide attempt, has come far and is alive and well today. I am so thankful he had the right help and support, and am pleased I could support him too.

In 2011, I moved back to England and took the opportunity to improve my academic work and my mental health. Despite lots of ups and downs, I did well in my A levels and went to study Physics at university, excited by the opportunity to continue learning.

Three months before moving to Southampton, from nowhere, I felt a massive dip in my mental health and began drinking and caring very little about myself. Starting university, I didn’t feel in control and was very vulnerable, and then my uncle suddenly passed away over the Christmas holiday. Jon was like a father to me, who I had hoped would be at my graduation and walk me down the aisle at my wedding. I felt like a part of myself had been brutally and abruptly ripped from me.

I spiralled. I couldn’t concentrate in lectures or sit exams without crying. I didn’t feel I could talk to people; it seemed no one would understand the grief or pain I was experiencing. I couldn’t pretend to be ok and couldn’t be rude, so I isolated myself. Feeling outside of myself, I was watching ‘me’ go through each day without any control. There were times when I couldn’t picture the next 24 hours. I was scared of myself.

I had to start recovery. University was still the route I thought I was going to be taking, so I stopped drinking and started taking care of myself. I went into second year with a positive frame of mind but my mental health still wasn’t great, even though it had improved.

I found that university was making things worse. Opportunities I’d found in university were the things that were keeping me going such as running a Student Minds peer support group for students experiencing low moods. The programme I was facilitating, and subsequent support network, kept me going through second year and allowed me to leave university knowing I’d made the right decision to drop out. Student Minds saved me – I don’t know where I’d be without them. The mental health of university students would be at a crisis point without the peer support, staff training, campaigns and sector influence that Student Minds offers. This is why I have chosen them as my second charity. Their work is hugely recognised, and it is an honour to now work for the charity.

You can’t always see depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts. You don’t always know how much someone is struggling. It doesn’t always show outwardly; they might not talk about it because they’re worried about others’ reactions. If I tell someone that I have clinical depression and anxiety or have experienced suicidal thoughts, they might change how they behave around me or panic. It’s not necessarily an illness with an easy diagnosis and treatment, where people wish you to get well soon and celebrate your recovery. Mental health difficulties and suicide affect millions of individuals across the UK. For that, I will do my bit by shaving my head and raising as much money as I possibly can for the Campaign Against Living Miserably and Student Minds.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, please donate if you can, please share this as much as possible. We can all share our stories and they can have more impact than we ever imagine.

Fundraising page: https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/ameliagoesbald

Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/h7JCdp0QkpI

Hi, I'm Amelia and I am the Training Programmes Manager at Student Minds. I previously volunteered for the charity, and love now being part of the staff team. I've had lots of ups and downs over the years, but have found Oxford a beautiful place to live and work, and the countryside certainly helps my mood! We all have mental health, let's keep fighting the stigma.

Why I chose to walk a marathon for Student Minds

in: #AmazingRaise Active Mental Health Fundraising Fundraising Champions

Rosie writes about why she has chosen to walk a marathon for Student Minds.

- Rosie Steele

In March of this year I became a fundraising champion for Student Minds.

I am extremely passionate about student mental health and my role as a fundraising champion. My problems with my mental health have been apparent from childhood but really started being a problem for during my GCSEs and A levels. University has also been one of the toughest periods of my life through coping with separation anxiety, loneliness, isolation through not wanting to leave my room, and academic perfection linked to a fear of failure. I became aware of the work Student Minds do during my second year of university when my mental health started to become more of a ‘surviving over thriving’ period and looked through the different resources available to me, making me feel less alone, and reminding me to prioritise my own mental wellbeing.

Student mental health is an issue that really needs to be supported as 1 in 4 adults experience a mental health difficulty through any point in their lifetime. Next time you’re in a large lecture theatre or just in public look around and think of how many people may be suffering in silence without access to or the knowledge of how to gain support for the help they need. Through early intervention ‘the considerable risk’ of academic failure and dropping out linked to mental health can be lessened. Research has also shown that undergraduate students have lower levels of wellbeing than the rest of the population.

On University Mental Health Day in March of this year Student Minds brought together the link between physical and mental wellbeing through their Active Mental Health day.

Throughout the worst periods of my mental health during my GCSEs, A Levels and university exam revision my mum made sure I got out of the house each day to walk the dog. I found and still do find these walks extremely therapeutic. Stepping away from the stress of revision for half an hour gave me time to clear my head but also talk freely to my mum about all the worry. There’s nothing quite like telling your anxious thoughts to a large field and not taking them back to the house with you. Even when at university and away from my dog, if I began to feel anxious and could feel thoughts creeping in I’d try my hardest to step away from my desk and get myself outside, even if I just walked to the Tesco at the end of the road and back.

As well as this, in April the BBC aired ‘Mind Over Marathon' in which ten mental health sufferers trained for and ran a marathon showing just how closely mental and physical health are linked. One of the runners Jake Tyler “blackdogwalks” on Instagram is now hiking his way around the UK to “promote movement as a way to manage mental health”. This really motivated me as I thought I won’t just be helping others but also myself, being active for my own mental wellbeing.

This is why myself, my mum and my little scotty dog Jack are taking on the challenge of walking a marathon across five days from the 7th -11th August. When thinking of ways I could fundraise a sponsored walk was my first idea. I toyed with the idea of a marathon in a day or a bigger amount say 50 miles across a week but then I thought no that is not realistic. I want to show other students, other young people the benefits of walking in a realistic manner that anyone can do. Motivating yourself to do any kind of exercise with a mental illness is hard, I’ve certainly never gone for a proper run (I used to run a mile with my best friend Lucy on a Friday night down some country lanes) but I’m not sure anyone’s going to sponsor me to do that. Finding something you enjoy, find bearable even is key to becoming active for your mental health. I’m seeing it as my own version of ‘Mind Over Marathon’ albeit not a traditional one.

We are taking on this walk from the 7th - 11th August and I’d love for you to support both myself and the amazing work Student Minds do. Just a pound or three pounds instead of your coffee will help towards changing the face of student mental health.

Through your support Student Minds can continue the amazing work they do, researching and advocating for students across the UK and creating campaigns who help students just like you and me to not just survive but thrive through what can be very challenging years.

Any donations and support are so gratefully received and I hope you’ll support me (and my mum and dog). Link to donate - https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/rosiesteele1

I'm Rosie and I'm about to enter my third year of a media, culture and communication degree in Liverpool. I suffer from anxiety, and separation anxiety which has made university a tough time, leading me to find Student Minds. I am now a Fundraising Champion which allows me to share my mental health story whilst raising money for something I am so passionate about helping to bring awareness to.

Do you want to go to a Summer Fete that openly supports mental health?

in: #AmazingRaise Anxiety Depression Fundraising Fundraising Champions

Angela and Andrew are holding a Student Minds Summer Fete to raise awareness of student mental health, raise money for Student Minds and most importantly for people to have fun!

- Andrew Morbey and Angela Hulbert

Have you ever wanted to go to a summer fete that openly supports mental health? Then look no further because on the 6th of August a Student Minds Summer Fete is coming to Clapham Common, London. This will be a day packed full of fun. There will be 6 hours of touch rugby, henna, facepaints, a raffle, some traditional summer fete games and more, all in the name of Student Minds.

This is a day that is being organised by Andrew and Angela, two fundraising champions who passionately believe in raising awareness about mental health. But why exactly are we doing this? After both being affected by mental illness there are stories behind our passion:

Angela: “4 years ago my life turned upside down as my mum was diagnosed with a brain tumour, the prospect of possibly losing her, left me suffering with depression and anxiety and as a means to cope I began to self-harm. After a while spent in a rut I eventually began recovery and whilst it was a long process 2 years later I realised that I wanted to turn my negative experience into one that could empower others. I created my blog and my journey as a mental health advocate began. Being a Fundraising Champion is allowing me to meet new people who are just as passionate as I am and together we are all helping to remove the stigma that surrounds mental illness.”

Andrew: “After waking up one morning 8 years ago and not knowing whether I could physically get out of bed, I began ignoring the other classic signs of depression. I spent 2 months hiding these feelings from my parents, until I came home from school crying. There is no real cause for my depression, maybe genes, my subconscious or perhaps chemical imbalances, but it’s something I’ve had to accept. It’s taken me a while come to grips with. But since joining the Student Minds Fundraising Champions, I’ve found new confidence in being open about my mental health and a close group of friends I can just chat to. I have also found people just like me who are passionate about making a difference removing the mental health stigma.”

We really hope you will join us for not only fun but also this educating and stigma reducing day. If you would like to keep up to date about the event then you can do so by liking our event page https://www.facebook.com/events/1877270549265403/ .

We hope to see you there.
Angela and Andrew

My First 3 Runs - 12 Runs in 12 Months

in: #AmazingRaise Active Mental Health Fundraising Fundraising Champions

Andrew is running to improve student mental health and documents his experience completing the first 3 runs.

- Andrew Morbey

I decided that I’d sign up to one 10km or half marathon each month for a year, as this was a great way of tying my passion for fundraising and sport together. I wanted you to follow me in my journey so here is how I found my first 3 runs.

"All I ask for during these fundraisers, is for people to start talking about depression and mental health."

29^th April 2017 – Sheffield Colour Run

I knew what a Colour Run was; a few of my friends in Sydney had done them previously in the past and had seen their photos. But I had never participated in one. Once hearing that there was on in Sheffield, it meant I could meet up with a friend who lives in Sheffield, as well as take part in my first colour run. The run was 5 km starting and finishing on an open-air dance floor with DJ’s and an MC, cheering everyone on and providing the entertainment and music.

I had previously just finished my year of sobriety, so for me, it was incredible seeing people dancing, singing, socialising and throwing colourful chalk all over each other, with no alcohol in sight. I’m not against alcohol, I enjoy a drink every now and then, but being able to dance and laugh with a group of sober strangers was quite a nice feeling.

28^th May 2017 – Hercules Festival of Sport

Having decided to run 12 running events in 12 months, I found this one as I was browsing running events. It was based at Merchant Taylors’ School near Watford. There were plenty of people there lining up to participate in either a triathlon, duathlon, cycling, fun run, 5 km run or a 10 km run. I had signed myself up for the 10 km. My aim was to finish with only 3 stops for walking and finish under an hour.

I completed it in 58 minutes with 3 ‘rest walks’ and immediately called my mum back in Sydney. The feeling of accomplishment is quite special, especially beating my targets and surprising my mum with a phone call. However, I ended up going back to my friends place in London and slept on her couch for the day. One event at a time I guess.

18^th June 2017 – Hampshire Hoppit Half-Marathon

I was asked to replace my co-worker, Oli, in this run as he had been called to Portugal for a work trip. He had explained that it was a trail run, which meant nothing to me, but there were was a free half pint glass and a medal. I thought ‘a free medal and a half pint glass would be well worth it’. Little did I know that a trail run literally means off road, up and downs hills and potholes that could do some serious damage to someone’s ankles.

I got to the starting line surrounded by happy and motivated people, going for personal best times or just wanting to finish the run. We all knew it was going to be tough, it had already reached 26^oC at 11am and within the first 2 miles we reached the ‘Hill of Death’. It was a hill you would associate with rolling or sliding down, not running/walking up. It wasn’t the best of starts, but everyone powered on.

Throughout the run, I was amazed by the Hampshire countryside, the rolling green hills, the crops and the blue sky. It was quite a special run, but fitness and soreness was starting to take over. I got the chance of meeting a few people along the way, talking about other runs they had done or just general small talk on how hot it was. I was lucky enough to make friends with Natalie, a fellow runner/walker whose boyfriend had run off ahead and left her to continue by herself. I told her she had to motivate me to keep running every now and then as she was the experienced half marathon runner, considering this was my first.

When we did finally finish, I had felt a huge sense of accomplishment finishing my first half marathon. Then Oli’s brother, George who had finish well before me, and his parents greeted me and congratulated me. Then knowing that I’ll be putting myself through this 9 more times will be quite a challenge physically and mentally.

A lot of people have called me crazy, but when I tell them why I’m doing it and about my depression, I see them empathise and congratulate me for trying to make a difference. That is all I ask for during this fundraiser, is for people to start talking about depression and mental health.