Showing posts with label Finding support. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Finding support. Show all posts

Mental Health over Christmas: Hope Virgo

Hope Virgo, as part of our Mental Health Over the Holidays blogging series, encourages us to slow down over this winter holiday period. 
-Hope Virgo


Although Christmas time can be a lot of fun, it can also be an incredibly tough time of the year too. Therefore, we want to bring this to light and ensure nobody feels alone.



What do you enjoy most about the winter holiday period?

The holiday period allows me to switch off and rest. This is something I really struggle with most of the year when I dash from place to place, pushing myself further and further to the edge. But Christmas gives me time to restock and recharge my batteries. What is great about Christmas is that I don’t get the normal guilt I feel when I slow down as I know everyone else is doing the same. I absolutely love allowing myself to relax. Giving myself lazy mornings in bed, time laying on the sofa and the slower pace of life.

What do you find most difficult during the holidays?

The food - although this has been much less of a problem over the years and I feel more able to relax around it. But there is still some general anxiety. ‘Will I eat too much?’ ‘Will I have enough?’ 

All these questions flood through my brain and I have to use techniques I learnt when I was in treatment to calm my mind. The thing that I have found really helps is to talk. I will tell those who I am with for Christmas if it is getting to be too much for me. The other thing I do is reassure myself that I don’t have to eat all the food that is there. Yes, when there is so much food around it panics me, but no one is making me eat it all and I can now trust myself to have the right amount.

Anorexia shouldn’t ruin my Christmas anymore!

Taking some time out from all the festivities to look after yourself can be really helpful. What do you do to help your mental health during the holidays?

On Christmas day I always make sure that I go for a walk on my own just for 30 minutes or so to get out and about. It gives me time to reflect on the day and to think about how far I have come in my recovery. For me it is really important to have that little bit of me time. 

What present would you give yourself over the holidays?

Shellac – this is one of my favourite self-care activities. A pricey but good treat. For me, when I am struggling with my mental health the first things I stop doing are washing my hair and painting my nails etc. As I find Christmas stressful sometimes it is important to put me first and give myself an incentive to take care of myself.

Reflecting on last year:

Something that hit me last year at Christmas was the support on social media that I receive. It was the evening of Christmas Day when I posted a tweet:

“Congrats to all who have had/ have an ‪#eatingdisorder‬ for surviving Xmas! if you are stressing tomorrow ‪@beatED‬ helpline is open from 4-8PM”

I was congratulating the 725,000 in the UK with eating disorders, and the millions of people around the world who were fighting their own mental health issues. I was amazed at the responses I got, and I felt blessed that there were so many people uniting across the world. Millions of strangers standing together to fight the stigma of mental health issues and supporting everyone who might be struggling. I know that social media can be dangerous at times and that people can use it in the wrong way. But posting that tweet reminded me of the amazing support I get on twitter from some incredible people.

I feel confident that this Christmas I can relax that little bit more, get that little bit less anxious about the food. Each year is a step further forward to beating anorexia and not letting it ruin Christmas.  If you are struggling I wish you the best of luck this Christmas and remember to take care and treat yourself!


If you would like to get involved in our Christmas blogging series, you can find all of the details here.



Hope Virgo suffered with anorexia for over four years before being admitted to hospital in 2007. She lived in the hospital for a year, fighting one of the hardest battles of her life. Since being discharged, she has fought to stay well. Hope Virgo Hope recently published her book; Stand Tall Little Girl.  She now wants to use her experiences of mental illness to champion the rights of others, inspire them to get well, and to help break the stigma of mental health difficulties. You can see what she is up to here.


Read More

Why seeking help now is vital

A positive message about seeking help at university (from experience), and why you shouldn't give up on your dreams.
- Mai Behmber

Hi, reader! My name is Mai, I am a bioscience student at Swansea University, and this is my story of how I attempted to make my way through university without seeking help to manage my mental illness.

From as far back as I can remember, I have had an obsession with the sea and all its creatures. I have killer whale, dolphin and even octopus cuddly toys from when I was little, and more books about the sea than I can count. But I have also, for many years, experienced a heaviness that I couldn’t quite explain. I can only say that it feels like a black hole in my chest that varies daily in size. Some days, it completely sucks me in, and all I can do is lie helplessly in bed. Other days, it’s tiny and barely noticeable. The black hole was still very much with me when I started university in September 2016. I was, as I am now, on a foundation biology course to then go on to do a degree in marine biology. In doing this, I am working towards my lifelong goal of becoming a marine biologist.

Before coming to university, I had been in treatment for a year trying to recover from my undiagnosed mental illness. However, about a month in, and a second medication change later, I stopped attending lectures as my paranoia grew worse and the black hole became completely overwhelming. I felt scared and alone. My thoughts were no longer safe, and I couldn’t escape to dreamland as my mind felt plagued. Instead of reaching out for help, I tried to combat it myself. I didn’t open up to my parents, I didn’t seek counselling. All I did was ask for another medication change. Although being on the correct medication is an important step to some people’s recovery, it isn’t complete without the help of your family, friends and professionals.

Halfway through the academic year, the head of course called me in and told me that the university felt it was best for me to suspend my studies, and to try again the following year. At first, I was devastated. I thought I had messed up my future and my dream career. Thinking about not going to university made me feel like I had no future. Then the university let me know that they had no doubt about me being able to achieve getting my degree. This gave me hope that I still had a shot at getting everything I ever wanted.

Suspending was the best decision that could possibly have been made, as it gave me a chance to seek the help I truly needed. During the six months away from university, I managed to find the right combination of medication and counselling with the help of my family.

I have restarted the foundation year and I couldn’t be doing better. My grades are great, my attendance is what it should be, my family are in the know with what is going on in my head, and the university have, in the best way possible, wrapped me in bubble wrap. It feels as if the black hole is still there but other people are helping me keep it manageable. There’s no way I can fall backwards without someone catching me, and for the first time in years I feel confident and supported. I am overwhelmed with the support I have been able to get from the university. I couldn’t be in a safer place.


Hi, I’m Mai! I am a bioscience student at Swansea University, and suffer from an undiagnosed mental illness. I wanted to write a blog for Student Minds to let students know that they’re not alone in
their difficulties.










Read More

Taking a Breather

Yasmeen talks about the struggle of maintaining self-confidence whilst pursuing your dreams, and how it's all about balance when it comes to surviving university.
            - Yasmeen 


‘If you were born with the weakness to fall, you were born with the strength to rise. Give yourself credit for how far you've come.'

I remember it like it was yesterday; all of the excitement and nerves that built up inside of me when I found out that I had been given a place at University to study Adult Nursing back in 2015. An overwhelming feeling. A mixture of every emotion. Then, a few months into my degree, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I had just started to embark on probably the biggest journey of my life and now I was full of many doubts. Could I make it through the whole 3 years whilst battling my own demons? Why was I feeling like this now? I had wanted to study Adult Nursing for as long as I could remember. Where had all my self-belief gone?

According to the Higher Education Statistics Agency, the number of students dropping out of university due to a mental health condition has trebled in the more recent years; between 2014 and 2015, a staggering 1,180 students left university early. I know this because I like to do my research to see how many people have actually acted on my daily thoughts. I was a lot more determined in my first year to prove myself wrong. Now I have just gone into my third year, and I feel like I’ve hit a wall. I feel like I’m struggling more than ever at the moment, with my anxiety taking over significantly. I struggle with social anxiety a lot where I find it hard being around too many people at a single one time- I have on many occasions been sat in a lecture theatre surrounded by all of the regular faces of the members of my cohort and felt like I needed to escape. My palms go sweaty and my heart starts racing and suddenly everything feels like a blur. I am trying to change my mindset towards my education, as I have felt on several occasions that I have wanted to quit and give up, to drop out and focus on myself and my health- but I am determined not to let my anxiety get in the way of achieving my dreams. A quote that I have always loved goes as follows: "The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed”- and I feel like that is my motivation to continue because I am so close!

Tips on dealing with mental health at University: 
  
  Ø  Use your universities support system! Take advantage of the available support that your university has to offer you. Whether that be a mental health wellbeing team or a counselling service. Having somebody to talk to at university can be useful.
  Ø  Do not be afraid to tell your lectures/tutors/mentors that you are struggling. These staff are trained at supporting students who have personal issues. They might be able to give you some additional academic support.
  Ø  Do not push yourself further than your limits. If you feel that your mental health is having a down period, do not feel guilty for taking a breather or a break from any work you may have to do. Giving yourself a break will allow yourself to work better in the long run.

I think the hardest part for me is finding a balance; a balance between looking after myself, my mental health, as well as putting my all into my degree and finding time for personal commitments. My mental health has taken over my life in more ways than imaginable. It has stripped me of my confidence and has affected my academic abilities. I feel as though I cannot function like I used to; I lack in concentration and motivation. It is such a huge battle, and nothing is more difficult than trying to better yourself whilst still trying hard to achieve your goals. I guess my main message is that it's ok to take time to breathe. Your degree is only a small number of years, but your mental health is life long. Your grades will never be more important than your health, and I hope anybody else experiencing what I am going through realizes this. Prioritise yourself and your success will follow!




 Hi, my name is Yasmeen and I am 21 years old. I was born and raised in East London and I am currently in my final year of studying Adult Nursing at London South Bank University. I have been suffering with Anxiety and Depression for around 2 years now and I see it as my goal to raise awareness about mental health, to change the stigma towards mental illness and to get people talking! Blogging my experience is a way for me to deal with my own problems and hopefully write about things that people can relate too.  













If you are considering taking time out of university due to mental health issues, speak to the student services and/or your academic tutors. 
Read More

Fresher’s Fever: behind the curtain of euphoria

Emma writes about how being a Fresher isn't necessarily carefree and the best time of your life, and reassures readers that if you're struggling to settle into uni, you won't be the only one who feels this way.

- Emma Wilson


Insecurity.

Low self-esteem.

Perceived rejection.

These are the feelings that are seemingly hidden behind the mask of Fresher’s fever.

University can be the best time of your life. It is a chance to make long-lasting friendships, learn from professors who are experts in their subject area, and experience the big wide world outside of the family home.

But there is another side to starting university, one that isn’t glamourised in the news or spoken about during sixth-form. And that is dealing with the emotions, thoughts and feelings that arise when dealing with a new environment. This is most apparent in the first few weeks of university, when social events take place and friendships are being formed.

Amidst the haze and whirlwind of Fresher’s week and your first few months at university, it may get to the point where you start to wonder: am I fitting in? Why are those girls hanging out but haven’t invited me? Why do I feel lonely when last night I felt on top of the world? I didn’t go to clubbing last night, will I now be an outsider? Have I missed out?

Let me tell you this. How you feel is how most people feel when starting university. Seriously. It is only in hindsight and having spoken to university friends that I have learned just how terrified everyone feels during those first few weeks or months. It is amazing what persona people can put on during the quest for acceptance amongst one’s peers.

It is also important to gain some perspective about meeting new people. If you're lucky, you'll get on with your new flatmate as soon as you realise your mutual love for the Great British Bake Off. But more often than not, it can take a while to find a group of people that match your interests. 

It is important to remember this: friendships don’t form overnight – not those which will stand the test of time. These strong bonds develop over months or years. Just think about the friends you have from back home. Those who mean the most won’t leave your life. In fact, going to university or moving away is a real test of any friendship. Having graduated from university in 2013, I can see this now. I ended up becoming good friends with people from outside of my course; those I hadn’t even met until the second term, or even the second year of university. People come and go in our lives. It’s important to be surrounded by people who inspire you, who drive you forward – who make you feel good about who you are.

My final piece of advice is this: enjoy the start of your university adventure. It is an experience like no other. But try to remember who you are. It’s good to step outside your comfort zone, but don’t go beyond your limits – respect yourself, and others will respect you. Don’t worry about being called the “boring one” for not taking 10 shots of tequila. And don’t feel like you don’t deserve to join your flatmates on a trip to Nando’s just because you never received that text message – it’s nothing personal, things just get a little hectic. And if these doubts start to creep into your mind, don’t fret. Chances are, most people are feeling the same.


If you are finding the start of university tough, we have more information about tips for settling in, missing home, and ways of looking after yourself on the Student Minds website here and information about finding support here


Hi everyone, I'm Emma. I graduated from King's College London in 2013 and completed an MSc in 2016. I struggled with different mental and physical health problems whilst at university and am keen to share some of the things that did, and didn't, help in my recovery. I now write, train and consult in the field of mental health and you can find me on Twitter (@MindfulEm).







Read More

Assignment 1: Accepting Me

Charlotte discusses her experience with grief and ongoing anxiety regarding her decision to change university course.

-       Charlotte Stevenson


When my granddad passed away from cancer, I was 17 years old. It was incredibly hard - not only had I always felt closest to him, but I had also been caring for him. The weeks which followed are a blur of grief, and my brain seems to have erased much of what happened. This is largely because at the same time, I was also learning to cope with my own anxiety and panic disorder.

Grief and anxiety are difficult to handle together. At first, both seemed entirely out of control; whenever I managed to control one, the other would rear its ugly head. For a long time, I tried to ignore it all and get on with life as ‘normal’ - which back then meant giving all my attention to A level's and not really listening to my brain. Instead of allowing myself the time and space I needed to process everything, I threw myself into schoolwork and extra-curriculars. While these things mattered to me, they didn't distract from my larger problems. If anything, I now realise that it was merely to create the illusion that I was fine.

Until this point, I had spent most of my life preparing to be a classical singer. This dream had led me to sing with choirs and orchestras all over Europe, audition for elite conservatoires, and take extra exams to prove my vocal ability. However, the high-pressure environment of classical singing isn't for everyone. When I began a conservatoire course after A levels, I was excited! But upon arrival, I found that all my hard work, even at my ideal school, wasn’t a time machine that could take me back to my former self. In fact, throughout my entire time at music college, I felt like a failure; nothing made sense and I didn’t feel like I belonged. I decided to try moving home to complete the first year of my course.

Once I returned home, I told my mum everything. I had been incredibly worried because I didn't want to upset or disappoint her after everything we went through with granddad. But once I had told her (and we both spent that evening crying) I felt massive relief - now it was out loud, it was real. I had acknowledged anxiety for the first time. After that moment, which was a long time in the making, I was then able to learn how to care of myself and my mental health properly. I started speaking about it more, balancing my workload, and generally putting myself first. It isn't easy, and still isn’t 100% natural, but I’m gradually adjusting.

The most important step I made towards self-care was re-applying to university for a subject I love: English Literature. When you train for music all your life, it’s very easy to put on a pair of blinkers, thinking it’s your only possible future, but there were always other subjects that I enjoyed studying. In fact, now I want to learn everything I can in my lifetime. Getting accepted to my dream literature course was another confusing milestone. While I was over the moon, I also thought that I had let my granddad down. Before he passed away, he made my mum promise that I wouldn't give up music. I spoke to mum, and she said that while it was hard, I had made the right decision for myself and my own happiness - which is all that granddad would have wanted. She was right - studying English quite literally saved my life.

If there is one thing that I hope you take from this, it’s that putting yourself first and talking about your problems – especially when it’s difficult – is the best way to take care of your mental health. Too often, because it’s not physical, we call the problem 'imaginary'. But you would seek help for a broken leg, and it's the same for your brain. Telling someone you trust can be the first step to recovery - not straightaway, but gradually. It might not seem so now but I can promise you, reaching out does make a difference.


Hi, I'm Charlotte and I'm a student at York St. John University. My ambition is to be a writer, and I have worked on projects with UCAS, the Guardian, and the Travel Pocket Guide. Writing about anxiety, how I have dealt with it, and the importance of putting mental health first, is some of the most important work I have yet produced, which is why writing for Student Minds matters so much to me.



Read More

Resources for overcoming Mental Health Difficulties

Michael shares his go-to resources for mental health difficulties.


- Michael Rigby

There are so many resources that will help you get back up after being knocked down. However, we don’t always realise this… we tend to think we have nothing that can help us. I’ve probably asked myself more than a thousand times: “how do I get back up from this?” I even have a couple of falls to this day, but that’s just part of the rebuilding process. Here is a list of resources that could help:

1: Family/Friends- These are the key people who will always be there for you, whether you’re at your best or your worst. Never forget to show your appreciation for these people: you only get one set of parents, and friends can be just like family. I’m not saying that all friends will be there for you at your moment of weakness,  but re-evaluate your group of friends you have and think about the ones who are there for you as much as you are there for them. Those people will help you, and you will probably find that you’re helping them as well.

2: Physical Activity- I understand not everyone likes this subject. However, it’s proven that exercising daily for at least 30 minutes to an hour will improve your mental health as well as your physical health. Also, it can be a massive stress-reliever. You can’t beat the feeling of putting on headphones and blocking out this stressful world for an hour.

3: YouTube- I’ve managed to find many motivational videos that have been put together by professionals. Honestly, I think they are brilliant. My personal favourite: “Unbroken by Mateusz M”, a video that includes inspirational lines from motivational speakers Les Brown and Eric Thomas, and the late Louis Zamperini and Steve Jobs.

4: The background of your role models- Many people tend to think that big names have had it easy and are lucky to be where they are in life. However, that’s not always the case. These people are also human, just like the rest of us, and you’ll find that these individuals share our stories in some way. I personally think autobiographies are very engaging reads and you’ll get an insight into what life was like before ‘success’. At the moment, I’m reading the autobiography of the well known comedian Kevin Hart. Personally, I think the story is fantastic. To see somebody fight and crawl to make it to the big time inspires me. He’s not the only person to have had a difficult life before fame. Therefore, think of one of your role-models and go and read their story.

You’ll find that everyone has a story, but what matters is how you choose to write the next chapter. These people were just like us… the only difference is that they’re making their story the best it can possibly be. You could say “they’re true success stories” which is true. However, they’re also just people who didn’t let hard times defeat them; that’s the true success of their stories.

We all know these times are difficult. However, we have to keep going. Nothing that is dragging you down should be allowed to defeat you or define who you are as a person. You’re not weak, you’re not a quitter, you’re one of the strongest people in the world. Only the very few can relate to how hard it is to battle with your mind everyday. You will overcome this… you just have to KEEP FIGHTING!



Hi, I'm Michael Rigby and I study Sports Business and Broadcasting at UCFB Wembley. I have experienced mental illness, including depression and social anxiety, since the age of 14.



Read More

Hidden Away: Are you Okay?

Chelsea discusses the challenges of dealing with mental health and coming to terms with accepting help.

- Chelsea Shurland


I have contemplated many times about whether or not I should post this. It opens people up to my world and some of the painful things I have experienced, but I have decided the time is now. The time is now because I want to inspire others to get help and to also share their stories. The purpose of this blog is to encourage you to share your stories and to also show that I am just like you.

I first started experiencing terrible nightmares five years ago. I put it to the back of my mind and thought of it as just a stage that I would get over. No one sees your dreams so they do not know what terror you have experienced during the night. It is almost hidden and secretive; only seen through tired eyes or wry smiles throughout the day. This is like most mental illnesses. Some are more noticeable than others but for the most part people assume you are fine. That was the inspiration for the naming of this post (Hidden away: Are you Okay?) If you are physically unwell it is written across your face or perhaps all over your body with spots or lumps. On the other hand, most people are unable to spot mental health illnesses as it may be hidden away.

So let me continue with my experience… a couple of months ago, my dreams came back again. These dreams were flashbacks of abuse I experienced in my childhood. I was stuck in a rut of negative thinking, negative habits, thoughts spiralling out of control….the list is endless. However, I just put it to the back of mind until one day someone asked me if I was okay. ‘Are you okay?’ They asked. Then tears started streaming. It was then that I decided to seek some sort of help.

This was then followed by three and a half weeks off work whilst I tried to figure out what was wrong. Why couldn’t I just feel better mentally? Why was no one in my house noticing I was upset? Would people think I’m over reacting? Would people believe me? These were the questions I kept asking myself but I just couldn’t figure it out so I decided to go to my GP. I didn’t think he would be able to help but I just needed it and to my surprise, he signed me off work and referred me straight away to the wellbeing team. I felt a sigh of relief but still uncertainty, as I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I didn’t know what to say to others or how they would receive the information. On my sick note it just said “depressive disorder”. I didn’t feel like going into details of why I was feeling the way I did, so I just said I was unwell.

I went for a whole week without anyone in my house noticing if I was okay which made me feel even more anxious to say how I was feeling. I just wanted someone to ask me “are you okay?” This is no way intended to attack my friends and family but rather to draw attention to how simple phrases such as “are you okay” can make a difference to someone’s day. Simple phrases like “are you okay?” or “have you had a good day?” can really make a difference in ALL situations. Without using these phrases in daily life, no one was able to notice that I was suffering silently like a large percentage of individuals with mental health difficulties do.

As a result of that, I just want to encourage those who are suffering silently or experiencing difficulties to take the step to get help. To those who are on the other side, be aware, be supportive and be patient. We all experience difficult times in our lives and one day you may need someone to say “are you okay?” This hasn’t been easy to do as I am quite a private person but nothing great ever comes from a comfort zone. I want to help others so I hope this helps you to be brave, get help and inspire others too.





Hi my name is Chelsea Shurland and I was born on the sunny island of Barbados. I am 23 years old and I am currently a student at City University London studying Counselling Psychology. I wanted to write for Student Minds as I have realised that one of my purposes in life is to inspire and help  others within the mental health sector.
Read More

Mental Health Over the Summer: Sophie’s Experience

Sophie kicks off the ‘Mental Health Over the Summer’ blog series by sharing her story about her summer experiences with a mental health issue.

-Sophie Edwards

Hey, I’m Sophie and I am a sub-editor of the Student Minds Blog. I’ve been a blogger for four years now and have also recently started my own YouTube channel where I share my experiences of mental health, university and life in general! I usually share my mental health story when I am at university and (understandably) extremely stressed. However, I rarely talk about my mental health during the summer, as this should be a time when I relax. However, mental health issues don’t rest, even when you’re meant to. This is why this blog series is so important: by raising more awareness, we can help students who struggle during the summer.

What do you do to help with your mental health over the summer?

Whenever I am having a particularly down day, I try to give myself something to do. I find it hard during the summer because I have gone from having something to do 24/7 at university to doing nothing, and it leaves me feeling worthless. To keep my mind active, I like to blog and make YouTube videos; I also like to do some painting, or to see loved ones. Spending time on creativity keeps my mind active and stops me from overthinking and worsening my mental health.

What do you like to do during the summer?

During the summer, I try my best to see my friends, even though we are all busy working or on holiday. I like to spend days with my boyfriend by either going on days out in London, or by simply chilling in bed with Netflix. Simple things like this make me feel truly happy and help me wind down after a stressful year at university.

Do you have any advice for other students who struggle with their mental health during the summer?

My main piece of advice is to keep your mind and body active. Last summer when I was told I had social anxiety and depression, I got into exercise. It balanced the chemicals in my brain and made me feel a lot healthier mentally and physically. Keeping your mind active is also so important. Of course, you need to rest after a long and stressful year at university. However, a complete wind-down can lead to an extreme feeling of emptiness, if you struggle with such thoughts to begin with. This also makes it harder to get back into university once summer is over. Start a blog, make YouTube videos, find a new hobby, write for Student Minds! Doing little things like this can help you wind down without leading you to completely switch off and go numb.

What do you find hardest in the summer?

I struggle to find the motivation to start the day. When I have no job or any responsibilities, I technically have no reason to get out of bed unless I have something planned. I find myself spending full days in bed, forgetting to eat a proper meal or drink enough throughout the day. I don’t bother to shower and I just spend the whole day either on my laptop or my phone. Sometimes we need days like this, but I know that truthfully, I feel even worse after.

What differences have you found in your mental health over the summer compared to when you’re at university?

I find that I ‘accept’ my mental health issues when I’m at university because it is usually down to the workload and stress. However, when it’s summer, I struggle to come to terms with my mental health issues as I feel I shouldn’t be struggling. But we all know that mental health issue don’t take summer holidays, which is why this series is so important. We need to raise awareness about students’ mental health and the support they can get over the summer if it is needed.

Are you interested in getting involved in the “Mental Health over the Summer” blog series? Please do not hesitate to email us at blog@studentminds.org.


Hi, I’m Sophie and I’m a student at the University of Greenwich studying Advertising and Marketing Communications. I am going into my 3rd year of university in September and I have struggled with my mental health up until this point. In the Summer of 2016, at the end of my 1st year of university I was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression. It was only when I discovered Student Minds that I felt less alone and knew I wasn’t the only student struggling. I hope by working with Student Minds I can support other students experiencing the same struggles as me and raise awareness about the help that is out there!








Read More